New to Home Education?

As a parent new to home education, it’s completely normal to feel nervous about leaving the mainstream school system behind. The world of formal education is structured, predictable, and for many of us, familiar. But when you make the decision to home educate, one thing you’ll quickly realize is that the journey toward self-directed learning is not just for your child—it’s also for you as the parent. It’s a process called deschooling.

What is Deschooling?

Deschooling is the transition from a traditional educational approach to one that is more fluid, child-centered, and relaxed. It’s not about abandoning learning—it’s about reshaping how you and your child approach it. It’s about letting go of the rigid schedules, expectations, and rules that come with mainstream schooling, and discovering a new rhythm for learning. This process allows both you and your child to unlearn old educational beliefs, leaving room for creativity, curiosity, and self-directed learning.

When I first made the decision to deregister my daughter from school, I imagined it would be an immediate relief—peaceful mornings, no more rushing out the door, and no more nagging about homework. The first day of our new journey started at Better EdSpace, where she spent the morning creating films and learning about history in the afternoon. In school terms, it looked like English and Social Science. On paper, it was a “good day.” But in reality, it was much more than that. It was the first day of deschooling—a process I hadn’t fully grasped until a conversation with Heather, the founder of Better EdSpace.

Heather explained that deschooling is more than just a break from schoolwork. It’s a way to help your child reconnect with their natural love of learning, free from the constraints of formal education. It’s also a time to figure out how your child learns best and to allow them the space to explore their own interests.

Deschooling: More Than Just a Break

Many parents think that deschooling is simply a break from academic work, a time to relax and not worry about lessons or worksheets. While there is some truth to this, deschooling goes much deeper. It’s not about abandoning learning altogether; it’s about discovering new ways of learning that are more personalized to your child’s unique needs and interests.

Think of deschooling as a time to help your child rediscover their natural curiosity. Spend time at the library exploring both fiction and non-fiction books. Let them dive into subjects that spark their interest, whether it’s dinosaurs, space, or art. Use YouTube educational videos to help them explore new topics or join home education groups focused on specific areas of interest. It’s not about being unstructured—it’s about discovering what motivates your child and how they learn best.

Finding Your Child’s Learning Rhythm

Deschooling is not a one-size-fits-all approach. It’s a period of discovery, where you’ll learn how your child’s mind works and what teaching methods resonate with them. Does your child love hands-on learning? Or do they prefer quiet reading and reflection? Do they thrive in group activities, or are they more comfortable learning independently? These are all important questions to consider during the deschooling process.

It’s also important to remember that deschooling is not synonymous with unschooling. While unschooling is a specific homeschooling philosophy, deschooling is simply the time it takes to step away from the traditional schooling mindset and explore a more individualized, self-directed approach to education.

Parents Need Deschooling Too

As parents, many of us have been conditioned by our own experiences in the mainstream education system. We may have attended traditional schools, been taught by teachers in classrooms, and learned from textbooks and worksheets. As we embark on this new path with our children, we also need to go through a process of deschooling.

We need to untangle the ingrained ideas we have about what learning should look like and embrace a more open, flexible mindset. We need to learn to trust the process, to be patient, and to give ourselves and our children permission to explore without the pressure of grades or timelines. This is as much a journey of personal transformation as it is a journey of educational transformation.

How Long Should Deschooling Take?

The general rule of thumb in the home education community is that for every year your child has spent in mainstream school, you should allow one month of deschooling. So if your child has spent five years in school, expect a minimum of five months of deschooling before you dive into a more structured homeschooling routine.

Remember, deschooling is not a “quick fix.” It’s a necessary and valuable time for your child to reprogram their mindset away from the constraints of traditional schooling. For children who have experienced trauma or bullying in school, deschooling may also involve rebuilding trust in their own safety and their ability to learn in a positive, supportive environment.

Trusting the Process

I know how daunting it can be to step away from a familiar system and embark on a new way of learning. But I have complete faith that my daughter, with the right space and support, will discover her passions and thrive in her own time. The goal of home education is not to replicate the school system at home—it’s to help your child develop important skills like critical thinking, research, and reasoning. They will learn to think for themselves, to question, to explore, and to grow into independent learners.

In today’s world, skills like using a calculator, understanding mathematical concepts, and learning to use AI tools ethically are becoming increasingly important. But it’s equally important to create an environment where your child feels confident, curious, and capable of taking ownership of their education.

Conclusion: A Journey of Discovery

Deschooling can feel intimidating at first, but it’s also one of the most rewarding aspects of home education. It’s a chance for both you and your child to discover a new, more personalized way of learning, free from the constraints of mainstream schooling. Trust the process, give yourselves time, and remember that learning happens in everything you do together.

Your child doesn’t need to follow a set curriculum right away. Let them find what excites them. Let them learn by doing. And together, you’ll discover a new, more empowering way of learning that’s unique to your family.